So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
