you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
