when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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