i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
