Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
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