did you get engaged???
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
