I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize
