The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
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