Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
It's not a walk of shame if you run
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