Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
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