you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
