Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
