I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize