so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
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The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
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If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize