sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
