I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
So much Jack, so little girl.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
