She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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