If that was your dad, he is hot
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
