dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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