His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
