wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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