70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
i out mim tonsoeep
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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