I like to think it a success when the cops are called
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
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