end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
we're chasing vodka with high fives
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you didnt know i had herpes?
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
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