was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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