Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
sex in a hospital.. check
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
