Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
You made out with two different species that night
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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