Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
