His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
