Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize