When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
This toilet bowl is my home.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
