those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
