he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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