Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize