Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Randomize
