i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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