So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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