She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Randomize