There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
i think i have herpe
just one?
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Randomize
