i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
