Small penises have feelings too.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
