I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
This toilet bowl is my home.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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