just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
