i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I am naked and annoyed.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
