i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
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