Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
