My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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