after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
