so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Come on in and take your pants off
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