what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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