there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
