grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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