would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
