Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
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He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
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Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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