No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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