The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
What a dumb baby whore.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
