So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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