What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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