I was born with a shot glass in my hand
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
