the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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