i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
