no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Randomize
