you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
