I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
