? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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