I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
